FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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