Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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