Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What drink are we having for lunch?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
