At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
