no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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