Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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