Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
