guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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