In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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