so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is Oprah even human
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
