Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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