New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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