Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
