is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
