I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
