i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
