I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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