My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
