It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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