I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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