So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
