Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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