HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
