absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
