and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
one might say we're banned from that church
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
