Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
