I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
