Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
