Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
