no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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