we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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