Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
