needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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