why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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