Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
