Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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