I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
