the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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