Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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