I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
