We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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