He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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