Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
