IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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