Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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