your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
