Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
