At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
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How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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