She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
