Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
