when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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