wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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