so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
